The Gift of Retrogrades
It seems to me that when a planet goes into retrograde, many articles I read on the subject tell tales of dread, darkness, and collapse. I always wonder about this.
First of all, this is not how I experience retrogrades. I experience them as wonderful opportunities.
Second of all, how is it helpful to frame something with such dark, dismal language? Maybe it is the eternal optimist in me…but I see retrogrades as catalysts for growth and opportunities for resolution. There are three distinct phases. First, there is almost always an unexpected event, or spark, that bring up an issue for review. This is then followed by a shift in awareness that makes us aware of our growth and evolution. And if all goes well, the retrograde cycle ends with a sense of closure or resolution.
Spark. Evolution. Resolution.
Venus went retrograde in Scorpio on October 5 and will appear to move backward, reaching the sign of Libra on October 31 and then moving direct again on November 16. Venus is a planet that rules over relationships, finances, beauty, music, and the arts. Any or all of these areas of your life could be exhibiting some attention seeking behavior.
Retrograde literally means to go backward. For me, retrogrades are all about returning to a previous time, place, person, or topic of conversation. The gift of the retrograde, however, is that upon returning we are given the opportunity to see it with fresh eyes. We can look at it from a new perspective and realize how far we have come since the last time we looked at it in this way. There are so many lessons that a retrograde cycle provides. Time matures us. When we return to memories of old, we can see how much we have grown. Without this framework, we wouldn’t be able to see our growth so clearly.
For example, let’s say Venus is retrograde and a former flame contacts you out of the blue and asks you to meet for coffee. (SPARK) This is someone that you thought for sure you would marry and you had the toughest time with the breakup. It took a long time to heal from the loss and just hearing the sound of their voice brings back memories. Old emotions surface, however, when you see them again for the first time, you see them with fresh eyes. (EVOLUTION) After a nice conversation and some coffee, you walk away wondering how you fell for them in the first place and why you held on for so long. You’re at peace with where you are now and couldn’t imagine your life being any other way. (RESOLUTION)
This is an example of a retrograde giving you the gift of Your Self- a more mature, wiser version of yourself who has outgrown the previous version of what you wanted in a partner. Astrology is not just about concepts. It is about life and how it shows up for you.
Recognizing the Spark as a Helper
The spark is one of the most important pieces of consciously relating to the material that is surfacing. If the spark is framed as a helper or guide, this takes the emotional reacti
on out of their sudden, often unexpected appearance. The universe is basically saying, “Hey, look here. This is the place that needs your attention right now.” Where your attention goes, energy will flow. And more often than not, if you experience a spark during a retrograde cycle, it is bringing much- needed attention to an area of your life that is seeking growth, reconciliation or healing. Pay attention to messages, signs, and themes that come forth at this time, and pay extra close attention if they come from somewhere in your past. If they come from the past, think of the age you were and the circumstances of your life at that time. It could be that this part of you is reaching out for attention and love because the time is ripe for healing. Blessings often come in disguise, and while healing is often a matter of time, it is also a matter of opportunity.
Another really practical example of how this works might be that for years you’ve been jealous of your partner’s ex-boyfriend. He still contacts your partner from time to time, and in perfect synchronicity with Venus’ backward movement, he pops up again. (SPARK) Because…of course, he does. After all, that is what he does. Instead of heading towards a heated fury of jealousy that creates separation between you and the partner you love, take a moment to recognize (re-cognize) this person as the SPARK. He is there to be your great helper and teacher in this lifetime even if it takes you a while to realize it. (EVOLUTION) With the situation framed in this light, you can see it with fresh eyes and choose differently than you have in the past. This is a great opportunity to break a limiting pattern in your relationships. The change inside of you could not come without the spark. From this new place of awareness, the trust inside of you grows, and with it the struggle relaxes. You’ve matured into a new level of security in your intimate relationship, as well as in your relationship with the Spark, so that these matters no longer affect you. (RESOLUTION)
Evolving Into Maturity is a Good Thing
One of my favorite poems is the Desiderata and one line, in particular, is coming to mind as I'm writing this. It reads, "Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth." Maturity is not something to be rushed into, and it isn't something that can be forced. It can only come by living the years of your life. I’ll give you an example from my own life in this current Venus Retrograde in Scorpio cycle.
Venus not only rules relationships but also the arts and music. My husband asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted to go to an outdoor art and music festival to celebrate our daughter’s birthday. (SPARK) So, we piled into the Suburban and took the kids to Merriweather Post Pavilion, an outdoor concert pavilion I have visited many times in my life. To be honest, I didn't really think much about it, but once I arrived, the memories came flooding back. It surprised me how much fondness I felt for the venue. This is a place where I have so many fond memories of music, including seeing Blues Traveler, Dave Matthews, Phish, Rusted Root, The Allman Brothers, and the list goes on.
However, I haven't been there in probably 10 years or more, and this time I was going as a mother with my children. Needless to say, I had a completely new experience. (EVOLUTION) This was a very family-friendly event. It was not the drunken self-indulgence I remember from my youth. I walked through the woods with my children as we listened to music while admiring the many art installations and light displays throughout the forest. There are honestly moments when I feel so much love for my family and for my life. The love wells up inside of me and I just feel so much appreciation and gratitude for the relationships I have. It is hard to explain. I would never want to go back to my young adult life. It was fun and all... but I'm so happy where I am. (And I’ve never been SO SOBER at Merriweather Post Pavilion in my entire life.) It was a whole new perspective and I am not sure if I would've felt these feelings as deeply if I hadn't returned to this place. It felt amazing sharing my love for music and art with my family at a place I have loved for decades. (RESOLUTION)
One of the most important things to remember in a retrograde phase is that this is a time for “re” things….”re”visit, “re”view, “re”learn, “re”cognize, “re”surface, etc. Retrogrades are not a time to start anything new. If you have a choice between eating at a brand-new restaurant or going to an old favorite that you haven’t visited in a while. Go to the old favorite. The new place can happen another time.
Venus Retrograde and Money
I would be remiss if I don’t mention that Venus Retrograde could also shine its light on financial situations. In the same way that an old love can resurface, an old conversation around money could resurface during this time, and it may stay on the table for discussion throughout the retrograde period. It would be a common retrograde experience to feel like money is moving in the wrong direction, perhaps by fixing a leaky roof or fixing up an old house, especially if this money is going towards something from the past or a past issue. However, this may be necessary to bring resolution to this issue from the past. Once there is closure, this issue will no longer be lingering in the background of your financial picture.
When Venus moves forward again in mid-November, there could be an entirely new framework for finances to flow into and out of your life. By the middle of December, when Venus returns to her full brilliance, the financial situation should be moving in a completely new direction. Money is an interesting topic for most people. If you’re not one to really focus on finances, you could experience a SPARK to bring your attention there during this time. Even if there are no major issues, the best use of the retrograde cycle is to “re”view your current financial situation, figure out what is working and what is not working, and then “re”vise your budget to a higher level of efficiency.
What happens if there is no Resolution?
The most powerful resolutions come when you realize that you would not change anything given the chance. It means that you are at complete peace with your life. Sometimes we just don’t reach this point of resolution, especially in matters that are really challenging for us, and that is okay too. There are some things that just take time. And some things are just so deep. The important thing is to look for the evolution and maturity that are happening. Progress...not perfection.
It could be that during the next retrograde cycle these same topics, people, feelings, etc. surface again. When this happens, look for the patterns and themes. It will help you change your relationship to what is happening. You can always choose to move towards empowerment and understanding. Recognize them as an opportunity for growth and dance with them. It may be a long dance or it may be a time of endings. Eventually, there will come a time of resolution, and at that point, you’ll be able to look back at the journey with awe and gratitude for all that you learned.