A Journey with Spirit- The Breathing Window

I have fond memories of my childhood.  I grew up on a small farm where my father gardened and my mother read me nursery rhymes to fall asleep, my brother was my playmate and my sister was always leading by example.  As the youngest child, I often felt cared for and protected.  Our lives revolved around recreation sports and we very rarely went to church.  My experiences of something greater than myself (God/Goddess) came through nature…watching butterflies float through my backyard, watching my father plant seeds which grew into a bountiful harvest, seeing a family of deer graze nearby.

I have one very profound memory of peace from my childhood.  I see myself as a little girl in my pajamas and I am kneeling in front of my open bedroom window on a cool summer night.  My curtains are breathing, flowing away from the sill with each coming breeze and returning to stillness each time the breeze leaves.  I sit on my knees finding deep comfort in the resounding vibrations of the crickets and tree frogs. I smile at the sporadic gift of light coming from fireflies illuminating the darkness in random patterns, and the curtains float away from the window sill with another breeze. It’s like the night herself is breathing and the trees in the forest are dancing in the moonlight, cheering her on. I let each returning breeze fill me with expansive feelings of peace and awe. The wind builds in the distance very far and then rolls into the room so close. And each time it arrives I am filled with such joy and delight, feeling completely safe and loved. The wind, and the night, and the nature songs are made up of love, and I am a part of that love.  As I look out into the night, I truly believe that my backyard goes on forever.

Sometimes when I find myself remembering more challenging times from my childhood, or maybe I’m just feeling really reactive to a situation in my adult life, I will ask myself, “Is this something that I can take to the breathing window for healing?” In that moment, I am consciously choosing to take responsibility for my own healing by looking inside for the answers.  The healing is not outside of the self.  I am working with myself on myself.  Taking a moment to connect conscious breathing with a very powerful, inner child memory can transform the present thinking or experience.  This process reminds me to breathe in the same way that the curtains breathed and let the hard feelings dissolve into the remembered feelings of peace, joy, and awe.

I am forever grateful to be given this gift of healing from my inner child.  In the same way that my backyard went on forever, so does the breathing window.   It lives in me.  It is a place I can return to time and time again…